On a special episode of Journey with Jake, I welcomed Amanda Villarini, who courageously shared her experience as a sexual assault survivor. While the podcast typically features adventure stories, this episode delves into a different kind of journey – one of inner strength, healing, and finding one’s voice after trauma.
Photos Courtesy of Amanda Villarini
Amanda’s story begins like many others: at a party with friends, in what should have been a safe environment. She was with people she trusted, including a friend she had known for about six months. The evening took a devastating turn when Amanda blacked out after accepting a drink from this friend. Her next clear memory was waking up naked, with her abuser next to her and two other men – complete strangers to her – also naked in the room. Small details, like how her clothes had been removed in ways she would never have done herself, immediately signaled that something terrible had happened without her consent.
The aftermath of sexual assault is often overlooked in public conversations, but Amanda’s story illuminates the complicated journey survivors face. Confused and in pain, she returned home and broke down to her roommates, who encouraged her to report the assault. Amanda, however, hesitated. She had liked this friend and didn’t want to falsely accuse anyone of something so serious. This thoughtful hesitation speaks volumes about the burden survivors carry – needing to be certain before coming forward, even when their own bodies tell them something is wrong.
Perhaps most disturbing was Amanda’s experience with the systems designed to help survivors. The rape kit process was deeply invasive and traumatic in itself, though she noted one nurse who showed exceptional compassion throughout the ordeal. The criminal justice response proved even more disappointing. Despite physical evidence, the detective ultimately dismissed her case because it was “three against one” – the word of three men against hers. Amanda later discovered her rape kit remained sealed and unexamined for years, part of a broader pattern of sexual assault cases being neglected.
The long-term impacts of sexual assault reverberate through survivors’ lives in countless ways. Amanda described feeling “weird” about her body afterward, developing protective mechanisms like wearing baggy clothes and getting tattoos to appear tougher. Trust became complicated – while she maintained close friendships with supportive male and female friends, intimate relationships proved challenging. Ten years later, she still contends with the effects of this trauma, though she has gradually rebuilt her life and recently entered a new relationship.
What stands out most in Amanda’s story is her resilience. Despite receiving no justice through official channels, she has refused to let the assault define her life. She’s traveled to Peru, hiked Machu Picchu, pursued education, and set goals for her future that include marriage, children, and returning to school for speech therapy. Amanda’s journey demonstrates that healing isn’t linear – it takes different forms and timelines for everyone. Some people need therapy, others need time, but the common thread is continuing to move forward. 
For listeners who may have experienced similar trauma, Amanda offers practical advice: tell someone where you’re going, share your location, and if assault occurs, don’t shower or wash clothes before seeking medical care. These simple steps can preserve crucial evidence. But beyond the practical, her message is one of compassion and hope: “Everyone’s different…take your time. Just figure out what works for you and keep doing the things that make you happy.”
Amanda’s story is a powerful testament to human resilience and the importance of sharing difficult truths. By speaking openly about her experience, she helps other survivors feel less alone and brings awareness to the continued challenges in our justice system’s handling of sexual assault cases. Her journey reminds us that while trauma may be part of our story, it need not determine our future.
